Thoughts on 9/11: Us and Them

A letter from Oriah about living with ourselves and the world after September 11.

Each morning as I do my prayers, after I have prayed for all those who have suffered because of the September 11 attacks, I ask, "How can I BE the peace I want to see in the world, today?" Not, how can I CREATE the peace- but how can I BE it- because it becomes clearer and clearer to me that violence and war are not just "out there" but also inside me. And being with the war inside me, taking care of that, is where I have the most influence (although some days it's not much) and where I can do the most immediate good. I believe that how we are ripples out. When I yell at my son for breaking my tape recorder (again!) instead of sitting with my feelings of anger- the war ripples outward. When I find a moment of calm, am able to be with myself and the world as it is and be still- peace ripples outward. I have become more and more aware of how our words, actions, attitude, demeanor, and thoughts either water the seeds of violence or the seeds of real peace in ourselves and in the world.

And peace- the real internal peace of accepting completely what IS in the present moment as simply what IS within myself and in the world, so I can hold it tenderly and take the war our of it- is rare.

In the next few months I will be travelling extensively in the United States, speaking and listening to Americas. It is a great priviledge and blessing to have the opporutnity to do so. I will, to the best of my ability, offer people a place to be with all of their own feelings about what is happening- to be with the anger or fear or despair or grief- to hold these feelings like one holds a hurt child, to deeply BE with themselves and see where that takes them.

But I am also going to offer to all of us a challenge- a simple practise in our speaking-based on the premise that there is only one race, the human race. I find myself physically wincing everytime I hear someone explain to me that "they" (the Taliban)just don't value freedom, that "they" (the Americans) want to wrap themselves in their flag and bomb somebody, that "they"(Americans or the Taliban, depending on who is speaking) hate "our" way of life. It's not that some of the facts aren't accurate, (although I think we claim to know far more about "their" feelings, motivations and beliefs than we can possibly know unless we have actually sat and been with "them")-it's that we are separating ourselves from a part of ourselves, drawing lines in the human family that cause the separation that inevitably leads to (and has lead to ) violence and great suffering.

I am not asking myself, or you, or those I meet on the road to see the potential terrorist in ourselves. That feels like post-graduate work and we are in kindergarten. I am asking us to change our language to reflect the reality of being part of one human family, to say "some of us" in every place where we might say "them"
(or "the Americans," or "the Taliban" or "the terrorists," or "the Muslim extremists". . . )I'm asking you to try this with me and see what happens. Every time you find yourself saying "them" and "us" try saying "some of us" and see what happens, no matter how derrogatory the statement may be. I'm not even asking you to evaluate the truth of your statements, only to consider that whatever we say about "them" is really about "us" in that we are part of one race.

So- instead of "They (or the Taliban) hate democacy," it becomes "Some of us hate democracy."

Instead of "They are crazy and filled with hate," it becomes "Some of us are crazy and filled with hate."

Instead of "They want to mindlessly bomb someone and demonstrate their power," it becomes, "Some of us want to mindlessly bomb someone and demonstrate power."

Instead of "They don't care who gets hurt so long as they get to live their lifestyle- at anyone's expense," it becomes "Some of us don't care who gets hurt so long as some of us get to live our lifestyle- at anyone's expense."
You get the idea.

I don't know about you but when I do this two things happen: First, I suddenly feel very sad where I might have felt very angry- I feel great grief over the suffering we cause ourselves. And second, hearing it this way, not excluding the other as something other than another member of the human family, I want to ask, "Why?" I want to know more, not less about what goes on in the hearts and minds of some of us that could result in beliefs and feelings that seem incomprehensible to me. To say or hear, "Some of us don't value freedom," confronts me with a statement that simply does not make any sense. Why would some of us- any of us- not value freedom? And I realize that the truth is probably closer to, "Some of us define and see freedom in a way that is different than I have been taught to define and see it."And now I am open to more information, wanting to understand what has and is happening in the hearts and minds of all of us.

This is not a solution to the world's problems. It's not even going to make us feel better. But maybe - and I do mean maybe- it's a way NOT to close our hearts to the other who seems to see things differently than I do .

Love and peace,

Oriah

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